Over the last few days, there has been a lot of buzz about a post about Aspergers and intent.
For the article click here.
Two scenarios are presented, where Joe wants to buy the largest drink, and in case a) is told it comes in a commemorative cup, and b) is told it will be an extra dollar.
The question is does Joe intend to pay the dollar, or get the special cup.
I say no, the original intent was to get the largest drink, it matters not the cost, or the cup.
The secondary intent was to stop the woman asking questions, and get what he wanted originally.
The sheeple (NT People) of this world seem to assume a lot.
If you ordered a meal with no peas, how would you react when peas are served?
a) say nothing to the server, and remove the peas yourself
b) tell the server that they made a mistake, and that you would like the peas removed
c) get quite frustrated, panic, and upset with the server
d) just leave the peas on the side of the plate, and eat the rest of the food
When someone says “no peas” and peas are delivered, it gets rather awkward asking them to take things back and replate completely rather than just removing the peas. Is it right to tell someone that is serving you that they fucked up? Is it better to not make a scene over something that is not a major issue? Is it wrong to get upset that the course of events that you had planned has altered, leaving you open to choices that need to be gone through and analysed to get the appropriate response?
To a neurotypical person, removing the peas solves the problem. To someone with Aspergers, the fact the peas were on the plate when it was requested that they were not is an issue. Simple request, and then when the peas arrive, how on earth do you deal with it? It is far easier to deal with the plate being removed and returned without the peas.
Our household contains 2 ADHD (one with AS traits, one borderline Aspergers), and 2 Aspies. We take nothing for granted, explain our intent clearly, and have little family stress, as we understand that what is said is what is meant, and there is little room for confusion.
I like peas, and therefore can remove them from the offending plate, wipe the plate clean with a serviette, and diffuse the situation. This is a learned response, and has become a routine response, I now assume that the servers will mess up, and have this strategy saved in place for when it happens.
But if this happens with something I do not like, I do not know how to respond in that situation. If you ask them to take it back, will they get upset, or annoyed, sheeple do not like being caught out in an error.